Lesson 1

Say:

Put your hand in front of your like this. (Demonstrate.) Cross your thumb in front of your palm. Now close your fingers over your thumb. This is kind of like your brain. Your thumb and wrist represent your “downstairs brain.” This part cares only about keeping you safe. Your fingers represent your “upstairs brain.” This part lets you think clearly and connect with other people. When your downstairs brain does not feel safe, sometimes it will turn off your upstairs brain and take over! This is called “flipping your lid.” (Demonstrate by putting your fingers straight up.) If you felt unsafe because a wild lion was outside your house trying to attack you, that would be a good thing! Your downstairs brain might help you fight the lion or run away! But if you felt unsafe because your friend called you a name, your downstairs brain might not be able to help you. Flipping your lid might cause you to yell and hit, or to hurt yourself or your friend. You might make the problem worse! You need your upstairs brain to turn back on to help you solve the problem. When we know how our brains work, we can learn to recognize when we are about to flip our lids, and solve our problems a different way instead.

Watch:

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_dxnYhdyuY - for younger children

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3bKuoH8CkFc - for older children

Discuss:

What is something that happens to you that makes you want to flip your lid?
The video said we can use “I” messages to tell how we feel or to tell what we need when we are about to flip our lids. What “I” message could you use when you’re feeling that way?

Do:

Say: When we are about to flip our lids, we can use “I” messages to let others know how we are feeling and what we need. We can say, “I’m about to flip my lid! I feel…” or “I’m about to flip my lid! I need…” Let’s brainstorm some things we might say.

Make a T-chart. Above the T-chart, write “I’m about to flip my lid!” Label one side “I feel...” and the other side “I need…” Brainstorm “I” messages together. (Examples: “I feel angry.” “I feel scared.” “I feel upset.” “I need a hug.” “I need a break.” “I need some alone time.”)

Say: We are going to watch some videos of some people flipping their lids. I want you to think about if flipping their lids solved their problem. What are some “I” messages they could have used to solve their problem instead?

Wrap up:

Say: Next time you are about to flip your lid, try using your words. Say “I’m about to flip my lid,” and tell an adult what you need.

Over the next few days, model for you students/children. When you are feeling like you are about to flip your lid, say “I’m about to flip my lid. I need to take a break,” etc.